Day 132

I couldn't think of any cute way to title this post.  In the past, I have alluded to my husband being out of work, a victim of the lovely US economy.  Be that as it may, he hasn't been able to find employment in any sort of career related field, though not through want of effort.  And although we can say over and over again, "IF there had been a way for him to finish his doctorate and IF we lived in a place where he could complete it and IF we lived in a home that we could easily sell and IF..." the point is that there came a point when something needed to happen.  We've been thinking and praying about it for quite some time, and although what happened today seems the thing to do, I can't help but face the future with a great deal of trepidation.

Hubby has joined the National Guard and signed a contract for 4 years of service.  The reasoning behind it is a good one.  He passed the tests to go in Intelligence and become a crypto-linguist in Arabic, which is very cool and proves that my hubby has mucho-smarts (like I didn't know that).  And this means that he'll be able to get a really good job, civilian or government, when he's done.  And that's great.  And it means that while he's in training for the next 20 months or so, we'll get a paycheck and health insurance and all of those lovely things that we haven't had much or any of over the last 15 months.  BUT it also means that he'll be leaving for California in the next couple of months for intensive training.

For 20 months.

Where will we be, you ask?

Here.  Yup.  Not knowing where we'll be when he's finished, and not being in a house that is rentable by anybody who would keep it up, the only thing to do was for us to stay here while he goes there.  It will also help keep him focused, because he'll be occupied by language school for 7 hours a day, plus three hours homework a night, plus PT and details and who knows what else.  It was a forlorn nondecision.  Unless we figure out another way and find great renter who we know will keep things in good shape and doesn't mind the house's state.  But for now, we're anticipating being apart for awhile, at the very least.

Although I'm sounding pretty down, up until today when it actually became a reality, I was pretty calm and positive about it all.  Now I'm starting to panic a bit.  I'm trying to reassure myself that it's all for the best and this was meant to happen for a reason, but while I keep telling myself this, and knowing that in the end we'll be able to be in a much better position and the pros outweight the cons, little glimpses of anger and fear are trying to nose their way in.  And I'm going to need every ounce of energy to push them out.  There is simply no room for them here, thank you very much.

And I can always remind myself that a man in uniform is tres sexy.  Yes? And it's only four years total.  And a man in uniform is tres sexy...

Oh!  And he'll have six-packs abs from the physical training.  I'm not quite sure how I'll handle having a husband that's physically fit, but I believe I'm willing to take on that challenge.  Uh-huh.  Yup, I am.

Bring.  It.  On.