Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Day 132

I couldn't think of any cute way to title this post.  In the past, I have alluded to my husband being out of work, a victim of the lovely US economy.  Be that as it may, he hasn't been able to find employment in any sort of career related field, though not through want of effort.  And although we can say over and over again, "IF there had been a way for him to finish his doctorate and IF we lived in a place where he could complete it and IF we lived in a home that we could easily sell and IF..." the point is that there came a point when something needed to happen.  We've been thinking and praying about it for quite some time, and although what happened today seems the thing to do, I can't help but face the future with a great deal of trepidation.

Hubby has joined the National Guard and signed a contract for 4 years of service.  The reasoning behind it is a good one.  He passed the tests to go in Intelligence and become a crypto-linguist in Arabic, which is very cool and proves that my hubby has mucho-smarts (like I didn't know that).  And this means that he'll be able to get a really good job, civilian or government, when he's done.  And that's great.  And it means that while he's in training for the next 20 months or so, we'll get a paycheck and health insurance and all of those lovely things that we haven't had much or any of over the last 15 months.  BUT it also means that he'll be leaving for California in the next couple of months for intensive training.

For 20 months.

Where will we be, you ask?

Here.  Yup.  Not knowing where we'll be when he's finished, and not being in a house that is rentable by anybody who would keep it up, the only thing to do was for us to stay here while he goes there.  It will also help keep him focused, because he'll be occupied by language school for 7 hours a day, plus three hours homework a night, plus PT and details and who knows what else.  It was a forlorn nondecision.  Unless we figure out another way and find great renter who we know will keep things in good shape and doesn't mind the house's state.  But for now, we're anticipating being apart for awhile, at the very least.

Although I'm sounding pretty down, up until today when it actually became a reality, I was pretty calm and positive about it all.  Now I'm starting to panic a bit.  I'm trying to reassure myself that it's all for the best and this was meant to happen for a reason, but while I keep telling myself this, and knowing that in the end we'll be able to be in a much better position and the pros outweight the cons, little glimpses of anger and fear are trying to nose their way in.  And I'm going to need every ounce of energy to push them out.  There is simply no room for them here, thank you very much.

And I can always remind myself that a man in uniform is tres sexy.  Yes? And it's only four years total.  And a man in uniform is tres sexy...

Oh!  And he'll have six-packs abs from the physical training.  I'm not quite sure how I'll handle having a husband that's physically fit, but I believe I'm willing to take on that challenge.  Uh-huh.  Yup, I am.

Bring.  It.  On.


Joyce said...

Congratulations! There will be alot of new changes going on in your corner. A very smart husband you do have indeed. xo

Kathryn said...

Honey, I know you're feeling a lot of trepidation right now....but it's that fear of the unknown that always gets ya! You'll settle into a new routine and somehow that'll feel "normal" and it won't be so scary. It's hard to comfort yourself and imagine the future when you can't picture it...ya know?
Hang in there...email me if ya wanna talk, okay? It'll be ok....you'll see.

Shawna said...

Best wishes in your new adventures! Life seems to always find ways for us to stretch and learn and grow!

Kim Living Life said...

oh wow lots of really big changes coming your way, life will be challenging for a while. Best to your husband and you and the children.

Allegria said...

Joyce: Thanks so much. Im not sure if congratulations or condolences are appropriate. LOL. It will turn out OK--and the perks will be awesome (other than the distance. Not to awesome.)

Kathryn: You're the best. Right now, things are on an even keel. You might be getting a desperate email in a month or two! LOL Really, things always have a way of sorting themselves out for the best. We're pretty sure this is meant to happen, so we'll get through it.

Shawna: Thanks. Never thought I'd be a military wife. Never.

Kim: I so appreciate your comment. I'm definitely looking forward to his having the employment that he'll get when he's done. Woa. It'll be so great!